Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
