Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
