it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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