remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
