Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
