She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
