she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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