The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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