oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
