Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
