Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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