i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
