I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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