The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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