I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
