Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
