Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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