she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
