Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
