Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
