Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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