we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
