Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
