If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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