Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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