Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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