I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The adults are the big ones right?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
