im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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