How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
