why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
