I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
