yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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