In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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