Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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