well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
