evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
