I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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