Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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