I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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