New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
