Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize