I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
