I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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