you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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