did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wish my penis had an off switch
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dear god my vagina.
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