So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
