You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
