So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
