You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
