I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
