hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
