Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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