she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
cat food counts as protein by the way
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
