We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
