you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize