he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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