What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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