After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
